After 16 years of being happily married to a black man and raising our two sons here are some things I know for sure work for me!

 

• Buttress your man - what does that mean? It means support his dreams, work, hobbies. Buttress is also sincere praise and telling him when he is out of his mind.

• Honor his mother - if you know what it takes to raise a do right black man who treats you right and who respects women, appreciate his mama.

• Let Jesus take the wheel, the keys, the car, and your mouth - when things get rough have a little talk with Jesus first before running to tell dat.

• Know his friends - I am not saying plan man dates but you know who your husband needs to cut out of his life and who he needs to spend more time with.

• Put your man first before the kids sometimes - My husband’s car was in the shop one hot summer day and he was on metro. I was dropping off the boys and they grumbled that they would be late if I picked up daddy first. I said that love means putting someone first at times and we were going to pick up their dad.

• Don't put down your husband in front of the kids – life should not be a Disney show where the dad is an idiot and kids are smarter than their parents.

• Get a life and get some good girlfriends- don't make him your only social outlet and the only way you go anywhere- a man does not want a cling on.

• If he is into sports and you are not - put some respeck on it. Don't start a relationship discussion at 6:25 before the 6:30 kick off of his favorite team’s football game.

• If you cooked all kinds of new dishes/ did new things when you were dating - don't fall back on old faithful after. Insert whatever special things you used to do. Keep it fresh.

• Finally love is an active verb but a man appreciates hearing you tell him you love him: tell him at random times of day and night. Try it.  Wake up your man at 3 am and say baby I love you, I buttress you. Email me at nadinekearnsdc@gmail.com and tell me what happened!